The Greatest (Crony) Show on Earth
Our P.T. Barnum leader has never met a stage that he didn't want to hog
Trumpty Dumpty has a lot of obsessions, but one of the oddest would appear to be The Kennedy Center.
After owning the Miss Universe pageant for a dozen years and finding success with the reality TV show The Apprentice, in which he convinced a lot of naïve viewers in Fly Over Land that he was a killer businessman, the Eggman fancies himself an entertainment genius.
While that might be a stretch, it’s hard to quibble with the notion that Trump ranks among the most successful showmen ever to strut across America’s stage of the bizarre.
So, it’s only mildly surprising that he would take a break from making the world unsafe for democracy to devote a chunk of his first days in office to seizing control of the storied Washington performing-arts venue.
First, in a heretofore unheard of act, Trump anointed himself board chairman and drove out the existing trustees. Then he used the open slots as rewards to cronies, supplicants, cheerleaders, and wing-women.
Mary Helen Bowers, a former New York Ballet dancer, actually has the credentials to be a credible candidate for a trustee position. But Bowers would be an unlikely choice were she not married to Paul Dans, who led the Heritage Foundation’s Project 2025 until he was shoved aside for being a dick (which is an especially high bar at Heritage). If you were paying attention during the 2024 campaign, you may remember that Trump disavowed that radical-right blueprint for his prospective administration. Once in office, though, he has been following it as though it were handed down from Mount Sinai, as Dans recently crowed to Politico.
At first glance, Denise Saul also seemed like an apt, if surprising, appointment. She is a prize-winning poet and writer of fiction. But two red alerts go off when you search her name: She is British and Black.
Ah-ha! That’s the wrong Denise Saul. The one Trump picked is the socialite wife of Andrew Saul, a financier and trustee of the Manhattan Institute for Policy Research, a conservative think tank that wants to cut Social Security benefits. Trump made him head of the Social Security Administration in his first term. But in an act that the White House can smugly point to when discharging the leaders of independent agencies, Saul was removed from office by Joe Biden despite having about four years left in his six-year term.
Most important, though, Andrew Marshall Saul was in the 1968 graduating class of the University of Pennsylvania’s Wharton School, from which he received a B.S. in economics. Hard to believe given all the tariff idiocy, but one of his classmates was Donald John Trump. Maybe that should have been a degree in economics BS.
Another wife of a Trump buddy who landed a spot on the Kennedy Center board is Dana Kraft, a 51-year-old former ophthalmologist. She is wedded to the 84-year-old owner of the New England Patriots, billionaire Robert Kraft, who last fall said that the election of Trump was like watching “a drunk fraternity brother” become President.
Kraft had a falling-out with Trump over the January 6 assault on the Capitol but recently is said to have helped the law firm Paul Weiss broker a deal with the President as he continues his extortion of lawyers. The appointment of Dana Kraft is another indicator of a détente. What is unclear is how the renewed palsy-walsy relationship will affect the candidacy of Kraft’s third son, Josh, who is campaigning to be the Democratic mayor of Boston.
Another trophy wife tossed a trusteeship is British socialite Andrea Wynn, the 55-year-old spouse of 83-year-old Las Vegas casino billionaire Steve Wynn, a Trump megadonor. Wynn’s first wife and business partner, Elaine, was also a Kennedy trustee, but she was a supporter of the visual and performing arts and was appointed by former President Barack Obama.
However, many of the new appointments are plums for those closer to home than fat cats and their younger mates.
Susie Wiles, the lobbyist-turned-campaign-manager who is now Trump’s Chief of Staff, is on the Kennedy board. And she managed to get the second wife of her father, the late great NFL announcer Pat Summerall, a seat, too, although Cheri Summerall has no discernible qualifications for such a role. Perhaps she will sit next to Dan Scavino, Wiles’ deputy, whose love of the arts began when he was a caddie for Trump, a Coca-Cola salesman, and manager of a golf course owned by you know who.
Richard Grenell, a Trump factotum and former ambassador to Germany described in the magazine Der Spiegel as “a vain, narcissistic person who dishes out aggressively, but can barely handle criticism” is president of the Center.
Now on the board as well: Usha Vance, the unexpectedly Stepford-ish wife of Veep JD; Pam Bondi, Justice Barbie; White House personnel chief Sergio Gor, sycophant extraordinaire; Pamela Gross, Melania pal; and Allison Lutnick, mate of Howard, the controversial Commerce Secretary.
Late in March, The Kennedy Center awarded the Mark Twain Prize for America Humor to Conan O’Brien in a ceremony that was likely too late for the new management to cancel. In his acceptance speech, O’Brien said: “Mark Twain hated bullies. …Twain was suspicious of populism, jingoism, imperialism, the money-obsessed mania of the Gilded Age, and any expression of mindless American might or self-importance. …Twain wrote, ‘Patriotism is supporting your country all of the time – and your government when it deserves it.’”
Oddly, that speech is not on The Kennedy Center website. Instead, there are innocuous videos of various celebs on the red carpet before the award ceremony and excerpts from funny, but not pointed, speeches at a dinner the night before.
On second thought, that’s probably not so odd.
Hilarious if it weren't also true!