All the President’s Immigrants
As Trump tries to send home just about every immigrant except Melania, he has surrounded himself with patrons and sycophants who are, as Swamp Yankees might say, 'from away'
Isn’t it ironic that there are so many ingratiating immigrants dancing around our flag-smooching, anti-immigrant President?
The most powerful man in the world is a hustler in clown makeup who wouldn’t be in the White House if Barack Obama, Joe Biden, and Kamala Harris had sealed our once-porous southern border and stemmed the endless march of illegal immigrants trudging north. So why are so many “émigrés” so close to Donald Trump?
The short answers are: money and abject subservience, with a perhaps a dash of foreign influence.
Money-Can’t-Buy-You Love Dept. At the top of the list, of course, is Trump’s No. 1 son, the South African, then Canadian, then American gazillionaire who loves the U.S. so very much that he’ll pay you to vote. (The presumption being that your ballot will be marked properly enough to pass Elon Musk muster.)
On Sunday, a couple of cheeseheads in Wisconsin collected $1 million checks from Musk for signing a petition against “activist judges” in a State Supreme Court election widely seen as a litmus test of the electorate’s current feelings about the Twitter/Tesla destroyer’s “efficiency” rampage through Washington and the first damaging days of the Trump administration.
Two days later, after shoveling some $25 mil into the race, the very unstable genius and the very stable genius (do we need to remind you?) came up short. The Democratic candidate, Judge Susan Crawford — herself the recipient of liberal largess — blew the robes off her hand-picked Republican opponent, Judge Brad Schimel (though that may be an image you don’t want to ponder).
Shakedown Artist? There is no shortage of attorneys born in the USA, but even Trump’s lawyer is an immigrant. In fact, Boris Epshteyn, now personal Senior Counsel to the President, slithered into this world in Moscow.
Epshteyn might also be the first American President’s lawyer who is currently under indictment. A spokesman for Arizona Attorney General Kris Mayes confirmed to The Constant Tribune that Epshteyn is scheduled to be tried in Arizona Superior Court in January 2026 in connection with a fake-elector plot after the presidential election of 2020. The nine-count indictment that says Epshteyn allegedly engaged in conspiracy, forgery, and “fraudulent schemes” also names sad clown Rudy Giuliani and former Trump Chief of Staff Mark Meadows, among other Trump stalwarts.
Last November, Epshteyn was accused of shaking down prospective members of the new administration for “retainers” to help advance their chances. One was said to be billionaire finance guru Scott Bessent, who is now Treasury Secretary. Bessent apparently balked, landing Epshteyn in hot water with the Grifter Godfather, who doesn’t like anyone making money off him. Somehow, though, perhaps because of a longtime friendship with Eric Trump, Epshteyn has managed to hang on.
One of the most vociferous and particularly vicious immigrant voices raging about how Americans who have been here longer than he has been on earth should think belongs to Deputy Assistant to the President Sebastian Gorka, a supposed counter-terrorism expert. Born in Britain to immigrant Hungarian parents, Gorka Sebestyén Lukács lived in Hungary for more than 15 years and has served as adviser to the ultra-conservative Prime Minister Viktor Orbán, a Putin buddy and Trump idol. Gorka has been a citizen of both countries and didn’t become a naturalized American until 2012.
Yet with about a dozen USA years under his belt, the onetime Fox News and Newsmax commentator with questionable credentials (former Trump National Security Advisor John Bolton calls him “a con man”) loves to lecture us as he slobbers over the man who plucked him from radical-right-wing irrelevance.
In 2017, the independent Jewish newspaper The Forward published an award-winning investigation that revealed Gorka’s deep ties to a Nazi-affiliated Hungarian group. These days, though, he portrays himself as a staunch supporter of Israel.
JD Vance, the titular Vice-President, may be a bona fide American, with the hillbilly trailer-trash scars to prove it. But he was — and maybe still is — a hand puppet, with the hand belonging to the right-wing, German-born tech billionaire Peter Thiel.
David Sacks, designated by Trump as the administration’s AI and crypto czar, was born in South Africa, though he has been in the U.S. since he was a young lad. Probably not coincidentally, he is a former chief operating officer of PayPal, the payment system that was developed by both Thiel and Musk.
Sergio Gor (originally Gorokovsky) is the Malta-born director of the White House Presidential Personnel Office, a position for which he is eminently suited since he was once a booker at Fox News and officiated at the wedding of disgraced former Florida Representative Matt Gaetz, whose nomination to be Attorney General was rejected by even the Republican Senate castrati. Gor, a 38-year-old sometimes DJ, was trusted with filling thousands of government jobs with Trumpers.
Two of the three most significant financiers of Trump election campaign, according to the non-partisan Open Secrets, were also foreign-born: Musk ($276 million) and Miriam Adelson ($106 million). Adelson was born and raised in Israel and is a ferocious supporter of Zionist causes. She says she got “stuck” in America when she met her late billionaire husband, the gaming mogul Sheldon Adelson, and her support of Trump is without question money spent to influence his policies toward Israel.
Maybe Adelson, a spry 79-year-old, will live long enough to build one of her casinos in Gaza after the dead bodies (including those of some 15,000 children) are carted away and it is transformed into a Trump-branded seaside resort.